The first time audiences get to meet Arthur Spooner in the series’ pilot episode, he immediately establishes just how much of a watchable wild card he is. Having already been described by Doug as someone he doesn’t want to visit even at Carrie’s insistence, viewers are well primed for Arthur’s initial appearance to be an awkward one before he ever graces the screen. And, indeed, that’s exactly what we get.
After the unexpected death of Arthur’s wife, Doug approaches his father-in-law at the funeral to offer his quiet condolences and is surprised to find that Arthur is far more upset about the number of sandwiches a random mourner is eating than his own loss. His temper tantrum soon reaches an ultimate peak when his daughters reveal that they plan to move him into a retirement home, resulting in the first of many, many unforgettable exchanges involving this miserly little fella.
Arthur is always at his very funniest when he gets uncontrollably angry. Here, he immediately botches any chance of being taken seriously when he shouts, “I’ve got two words for you: I’m staying right here!” Carrie (rightly) points out that it’s actually four words, so he then adds, “Then I got another four words: screw you!” After his second counting error is noted, the tone abruptly shifts when Doug suggests that he stop previewing how many words he’s going to use, and Arthur calmly and hilariously concedes, “Once you do that you’re pretty much locked in, eh?” He’s not done being angry yet — oh no — but from this moment forward the uniquely comedic cadence of this character’s communication style is firmly established with this unforgettable introduction.